This leads me to reflect on the life that God has given me and how wholly unexpected it is. Nothing in my life has gone according to plan, my plan anyway. Most of the time I'm okay with that but if I'm completely honest with myself there are times when I think, "why?"
Let's not dwell on the questions though. They come in the night and are not part of what is good and true. I just want to stay honest and I do not think any of us can honestly claim to have everything all together. I certainly don't.
My sweet friend Sarah told me recently that to her, it seems like I have everything in my life that most people want. I have an absolutely amazing man that I am honored to call husband and two beautiful children that I adore and delight in. This is true. I have these things. But it's in the details that everything is so unexpected.
Joe is so much better than I could have ever dreamed a husband to be. I am so thankful and so blessed that God knew what we needed and brought us together. I always thought I would be married right after graduating college which didn't happen. At the time it felt a bit devastating for that desire to not come true but getting married 2 years later really isn't that big of deal. And honestly, as I approach 30, I realize how young 24 is and how ok it would have been to wait longer. The Lord brought me to a place that I didn't really care how long it took, I just wanted the man God had planned for me. It is so much better this way.
We knew that we wanted a family but our timeline looked a bit different from what actually happened. We would not take Sophie Grace back. She is truly amazing. Daily Joe and I look at each other and ask, "Where did she come from?" Having kids drastically changes life. It is so hard but so completely wonderful. We are blown away that the Lord would entrust the life of this child to us and we seek to acknowledge that she belongs to Him alone. We pray that she will know and serve Him with her whole self. We named her believing that she will be a reflection of its meaning: Sophie = wisdom; Grace = unmerited favor; Beulah = married (Isaiah 62).
And you all know Liam. Of course we did not expect to have a child who will not develop "typically" or necessarily live a "typical" life. We knew he would bless us and have taken the perspective that not only did God feel Liam needed us, but we needed Liam. And what a blessing he is! What an honor that the Lord would entrust this not so average child into our care. And just like his sister, he is an absolute delight. When I think of Liam the words of James run through my mind and heart, "Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is now variation or shifting shadow." (1.17)
I think I felt the call to ministry when I was twelve years old. This is when I remember hearing the story of Lottie Moon for the first time. I was completely in awe of the way this woman lived her life and gave it to share the gospel with those who did not know. During my time in college the Lord confirmed this call and I experimented in different types of service and missions including spending a summer over seas in east Asia. My senior year I felt that He was calling me to step outside of my comfort zone to serve college students. College was a time of incredible spiritual growth in my life and I felt the desire to be a part of that in the lives of others.
I honestly felt my call to ministry would be international but I love that God plans things so vastly different and completely perfect than what we expect. I never wanted to be in California, I was much more willing to go over seas, but I love it. I never thought that we would have to raise our support but it puts us in a place of complete dependency on God and His provision and He is so faithful.
I know I've written about all these things in the past but hey, it's been a while, and frankly, this is my life and so my heart and mind spend a lot of time dwelling on these things.
Check out our ministry page and if you want to receive our monthly prayer letter, let us know!
