I did it. I finished seminary. I didn't always know if I would make it because of the things that have happened over the last few years but I did. I was asked to "Share my Journey" at our graduation ceremony. It was an honor and I thought that posting the written manuscript would be a fitting blog post. So here is my journey:
My call to ministry was confirmed while I was in college and I knew that part of the path I would take would include time in seminary. I boldly told the Lord that I was excited to serve Him wherever He may choose to send me as long as it wasn’t the North Eastern United States or California. Clearly this was going to be a problem. I left college and served as a missionary in Up-state New York and naturally followed that with seminary in California. But I am so grateful that God chose the path. If I hadn’t gone to New York I would not have met my husband and if I had not met my husband I would not have chosen Golden Gate for seminary. And the man that God gave me to call husband and our journey together have made our placement at Golden Gate essential; not only for our theological education, but for the community we needed for the faith journey that awaited us here.
I arrived at Golden Gate on a cold, wet afternoon in January. I was tired and overwhelmed from the cross-country trek, but relieved to be on the same coast as the man I would soon call my husband. I am leaving Golden Gate married and the mother of 2, which means I am still tired and overwhelmed.
But I am also overwhelmed by the goodness and greatness of God and all that He has done in our lives in the 4 years we have been here. For my husband and I this journey has been one that is testing and growing our faith.
A love for God’s Word is something that has always come easy for me along with a desire for more knowledge and wisdom. I loved my time in Old Testament and New Testament and really enjoyed getting into the Word deeper with our hermeneutic and exegesis assignments. I have an even greater appreciation for thorough preparation and study of the Word in context after taking Bible Teaching and standing in front of a class where I was the only woman and preached a sermon eight and half months pregnant. My year in theology challenged me and made me fall more in love with my Savior. I love the knowledge I have gained in this place on this journey.
But faith...Faith is something that has always been hard for me; I like to be in control. I never wanted to be in California, but God brought us here for a reason. Our daughter was born one month after our first anniversary and we were happy and excited for her but the timing was not ideal. I took a couple of semesters off as a student and worked full time so that my husband could finish his degree. I did not know if I would finish my own degree since I was now a mother. But I knew I was supposed to be here for a seminary education as well; and I am thankful for a supportive man who encouraged me in the decision for us to remain at Golden Gate an extra year so I could complete my degree. A few weeks before classes started last fall we found out we were expecting our second child. Once again the timing wasn’t the best because the baby was due in April, mid-semester, and I was returning as a full-time student. We were really excited about this addition to our family and began planning for our second daughter.
That daughter never came. Instead we were shocked when a son arrived. Just as we were adjusting to the fact that we had a son we received a second, even greater shock. Liam was one week old when we learned that he has a very rare genetic syndrome. No parent ever anticipates anything other than a normal, healthy baby. Our journey was now taking our family down an unexpected path. It is a journey that we realized immediately we could not walk without faith. I have battled with so many questions over the last 7 months. How can God allow stuff like this to happen? Why did it have to be our son? And we have mourned for our son and the “normal” experiences that he will probably never get to have.
This is not the only way God has been growing our faith on this journey. Being at Golden Gate revealed where God was calling our family to serve in ministry. Right here. Literally. We are so thankful to be members of First Baptist Church San Francisco and God has given us a love for this church that runs deep and extends into the city itself. We found ourselves this past spring embarking, once again down a path I never wanted, on a journey to raise our own financial support in order to stay in San Francisco sharing the Gospel with and discipling college students. But this is the ministry we know God has called us to, in the place we know God wants us to be.
I can honestly say that without Golden Gate we would not be here. Being here is how God brought us to this place to serve. And without the support of the community of students, faculty, and staff, I am not sure how we would have made it after Liam’s birth. My professors were so gracious in helping me finish the spring semester after his birth and diagnosis. The community rallied around us pouring out their love to us in prayer, words of encouragement, bringing us meals, and helping us take care of our kids. Our best friends here are literally walking this path with us, their son also has a rare genetic syndrome. God calling us here could not be more clear to us as we have seen everything come together so beautifully. He is amazing us with His provision, both financially as we start our ministry and also with a community that could not have been a more precious blessing. I would not have wanted to start this journey of faith any other place.
The words of Paul in Philippians 3:7-14 have resonated in my mind and heart lately. Perhaps because I can relate to them in a way I never have before. I want to leave you with verses 12-14:
“Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
